It's pretty darn good, I say. I really liked the composition and pacing, but it just seemed to lack the power in the instruments. I'd recommend you getting some better gear, because you're gonna need it and fast; your stuff is good, and it needs to sound even better.
So what did I do after listening to this? I made a complete remake, to make it sound just what I wanted it to sound like: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/510922
Really good, I'm going to roam around listening your tunes for a while now. Keep it up!